July 4, 2017
When I take the time to think about what holds my clients back or what holds people
back from achieving their goal I sometimes think about my own past experiences.
My own personal journey
I have done a lot of the work on myself.
Personally and professionally.
Physically and mentally.
I've overcome a lot and I've changed a lot in the process.
That change has not come without it's judgements though.
Especially from my circle of influence.
When you commit to a higher level you'll notice your people will either be with you
and step up too or they will dissapear from your life.
You see I used to be the life of the party. I'd be the first one to put my hand up for
a big night out. I'd be at every party and I'd be there until the end.
I had many friends that liked to party too so I was apart of the crew. I had my people
and that is what we did together. Party.
So when I decided to change it all. Stop drinking. Get healthy. Study. Exercise.
And do something with my life...... things changed.
People all of a sudden thought I was judging them. I wasn't around as much and I
didn't want to do those same things anymore. I wanted to become something more
and I was becoming someone different (in a good way).
I was also judged. Mainly most thought I thought that I was to good for them now
or that I was boring.
Truth be told I was just busy bettering myself and no longer had the time to waste
on things that didn't make me feel good. I'd done that for years and wasn't about
to go back. I had now become my first priority. Pleasing myself first was the game.
I remember times when I've been to BBQ's or events and I've opted not to eat
dessert or something. No reason in particular, I just didn't feel like it. But instead
of acceptance, here would come the;
"Come on just one piece"
"You are too strict"
"You need to put on some weight"
"It's good to relax sometimes"
Same thing happens when I don't get rolling around drunk like everyone. Here comes
"Come on, you're no fun"
"Why don't you drink Sarah ,like everyone drinks"
"It's so weird you don't drink, what do you do?"
"Just have one more it won't hurt"
You know if I wasn't strong minded and so stubborn I really would give in just to shut everyone up.
So is this what you fear?
The people around you thinking you have changed?
Not fitting in with your friends and family anymore?
No longer having the same interests as your friends?
So instead of having your own mind you end up;
Eating the pizza that you actually really don't want but did anyway because
they told you to loosen up?
Having those shots that you didn't actually feel like because you have to be
cool and fit in to make the work deal?
Not exercising because your husband hates it even though you have been
planning to exercise on that one day all week?
Is this what is holding you back?
Your fear of judgment?
You are amazing just the way you are and you don't need anyone else's acceptance
BUT YOUR OWN.
You do what YOU want to do and don't let your decisions be anyone's but your own.
And you know something else I realised is a lot of the time people project their own
BS onto you.
So if you say no to that pizza or that beer you make them feel bad for having it themselves. You hold them accountable and to a higher level. Whereas if you have it they can just relax.
Don't make choices based on trying to fit in, be cool, please your partner or be apart of
the crowd. I gave up doing that a long time ago and I'm much happier being myself
than I ever was being the yes women.
But if you decide to give in be accountable for it. You can't blame Jane for making you
eat your own body weight in chocolate over the weekend because she was going
through a break up and she made you.
You did it, you're accountable for it.
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